Things that help me combat imposter syndrome
I feel like imposter syndrome is becoming more and more talked about, which is great. The more people that share about their experience, the more I’m able to ease up on myself and realize it’s really common and there are many ways to deal with it. Ultimately, it’s a sign that you care about the work that you’re doing and the services or products you provide. But the negative self talk can wear you down quickly, so it’s important to recognize when it’s hurting you versus helping you. Here are the ways I’ve been dealing with it lately.
First, what is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they’re deserving of accolades.
(Source: Harvard Business Review)
How I deal with it
BY WRITING
This is the main way I deal with thoughts and emotions, and it’s something I do daily. It may not be for everyone, but I find getting my thoughts down on paper is a great way to see them from the outside, to detach a little bit and get super honest. You can start by writing down the emotion or thoughts you’re having, like “I’m not an expert so why do I deserve clients?” or “I’m not as good as this other person, so why I should I even try?”. As soon as you face them straight on, they may start to feel harsh or even untrue. Then reflect a bit on why you feel that way, did someone tell you that? Or did you assume it based on social media? You may discover the feeling of being a fraud that’s going to be found out actually has no basis in truth at all, it’s just your fear projecting negative thoughts, but it’s also possible there really is truth to what you’re thinking, which leads me to my next tip.
BY LEARNING SOMETHING
Imposter syndrome can actually be helpful if you channel it into something productive. Be careful that you’re not expecting yourself to achieve unrealistic amounts of knowledge or expertise, you don’t have to know everything! But taking action to get better at something that you think you should be better at is a great step! I find when I start learning more about the thing that intimidates or scares me, I feel empowered by even making the decision to learn more about it. The imposter syndrome subsides when I know I’m going to get better at something, allowing it to be informative instead of shameful.
BY EXERCISING
There’s something about feeling physically strong that can really level up your confidence and mental clarity. I’m sure there’s some science behind it, but I’ve noticed that when I’m being really hard on myself and generally less confident at work, there’s a good chance I haven’t been moving my body enough. When I can, I make a point to do a form of exercise I enjoy (again, the point is not to punish yourself) whether that’s biking, yoga or on a great day, some strength or interval training. And if I can get in a good habit of working out regularly, I’m generally easier on myself and feel less like an imposter, like I trust that I will do the work to get better in life.
I think there’s something to be said for being honest with yourself and really naming the imposter syndrome for the exact thoughts that it’s creating. Try reflecting on these questions:
What exactly makes you feel like an imposter?
What proof have you found that validates that feeling?
How has that narrative been proven wrong?
Are you expecting yourself to have the answers for everything?
Is there one skill you could gain that would make it dissipate?
Is it an achievable skill, and if so how can you work on it?
When’s the last time you told yourself it’s ok to make mistakes as you go?
What accomplishments can you celebrate instead of diminishing?