Reflections that took me from 10am-11pm job, to sole proprietor
I’ve always been the person who needs a little encouragement from a friend or coworker to believe I could excel at something outside my comfort zone. If it weren’t for my best friend growing up, I never would have taken on my first leadership role as the Grade 12 yearbook editor. If it weren’t for my dance coach in University, I wouldn’t have believed I could be a team captain. If it weren’t for my managers at the Blue Jays, I never would have had the confidence to become the head of the game entertainment team. If it weren’t for my fiancé, I don’t know if I’d have gone full time in my freelance design business in 2019.
If you can relate to this, I encourage you to really listen to the ones you love and trust, because they often see something in you that you won’t see in yourself. But if you take the chance and believe in you like they believe in you, you just might discover a whole set of skills and confidence that you never imagined yourself having. And then that confidence will snowball, so get ready.
There’s been many steps along my journey to become a full time freelance designer, and it’s not what I’ve seen myself doing from the start. Looking back, these are some of the big realizations or milestones I hit that lead me here:
Whatever I’m doing, I take it seriously and I work hard at it.
Every job I’ve had I’ve put 150% into it, and often that’s led to working 80 hour weeks and a very blurred line between career and personal life. A few years ago, I wondered… if I take someone else’s mission so seriously that I’m willing to commit all of my time and effort to it - what would happen if I committed that much to my own dream?
People kept coming to me with design projects, even when I wasn’t marketing myself for it.
My confidence as a designer has had many ups and downs, especially since I didn’t go to school for it - I’ve been largely self-taught through classes, courses and projects. But when I started noticing that I consistently had at least 2 design projects on the side of my 80-hour a week job, I started believing it was a sign that it was something to pursue.
I became envious every time I saw someone start their own business.
Was I jealous when one of my full time coworkers got promoted? Nope. Did I care when I saw friends start their own businesses? YUP. I started paying close attention to the things that I saw others doing that made me light up and say to myself, “wait, I want to do that!”. This was especially true of seeing other designers, and something that held me back for a long time was needing everything to be perfect and fully established in order for me to put myself out there. But as I watched others run their businesses in authentic and imperfect ways, I realized I was holding myself and the people I could help back.
I was magnetically drawn to and idolized my female business-owner friends.
I started asking questions to friends of mine that ran all types of businesses - fashion brands, dance competitions, and jewellery companies. I wanted to know what motivated them, some of the biggest challenges they faced and if they still love what they do. And guess what? While we were chatting, the questions naturally bounced back to me - why was I interested? If I started my own business, what would it be? What kinds of services could I offer? It helped build my confidence in talking about myself to people I love and admire, and one of the conversations even turned into one of my first big clients!
I felt empowered by the idea that my future could be whatever I want it to be.
I started really reflecting on why this path was so appealing. Yes, I love designing, meeting other business owners and helping empower them through creativity, but I ultimately saw myself taking control of my life and my future without the walls or ceiling of an employer surrounding me. And when I realized that the shelter of a full time job felt more restricting than reassuring, I knew what I ultimately had to do. I knew I wanted all my effort to be invested in my future, my own mission, my own clients.
